See, i'm not too much for 'vacuum' - whether it's in the head, stomach or as in the much discussed (-and-respected-in-relationships) 'S P A C E'.
so when you tell me " i need space", i MOSTLY smile... and nod... and mutter "are you serious???" under my breath but say "yes baby... i understand" to your sweet eyes.
bet your last-fix-before-rehab i understand!
So, what you BASICALLY wanna do - and can't tell me straight - is:
a) Drink till you're SO f****** wasted that you can't tell your shoe laces from the noodles from dinner you puked at your feet — and then not have to explain what the hell you were doin' drinking when you said you were "working late, baby"!!!
b) Not go out to watch Sex & the City with my friends and me. (Then don't ask me if i saw that "mind-blowing goal Portugal rammed in against Italy", no?!!! It could've been Godhuli Bagan Tomra Purush Shangthan taking on Kendo Para Aamra Teen-ti Bhai Club — same difference!!! To me!!! UGH!)
c) Not answer your phone when i 'interrupt' a marathon porn-viewing session.
d) Sleep till 4.30 pm on Sunday and wake up and meet your buddies for a smoke rather than drive to my place for a 'talk' on 'where is all this going...'
e) Ignore my begging-for-attention oooey-gooey sms-es like i was one of those pesky cell phone service providers asking you to "sms 63616 to know who your real father is"! (Man! at least sms-ing me is cheaper!!!)
f [for F*** O**!!!]) Want to be in a relationship but play single.
Then, hello there!, i'd like to say - TAKE A HIKE to "the vacuum that all of the planets, stars, and other objects are in" and STAY THERE!!!!!!!!! Enjoy your SPACE!!!!
DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. (I swear, baby!!!! I totally understand YOUR need for space!)
5 comments:
OH MY GAWD!!!!
U R BANG ON!!!!
How did you realise us men (the alleged enemy / emotionally challenged 'friend') to be the shallow and neolithic beings that we are.
But, I do have a few shallow objections to what you say:
SMS-ing your girl is a cheaper option, than replying to one of those persistently irritating set of sms-es which make u feel like you want to immediately run out of the auto and register with the DoNotDistrub Register, only to the limited extent that the sms to your girl doesnt stop at one (thus making it more expensive) and that such sms-es have also known to have caused motor accidents (hah: that ain't no fiction)!!
In today's tough world, Working also invloves networking and socialising. OK I admit we prefer to cross the thin line separating networking from gettin wasted and generally playing the fool. So forgive us for getting a bit drunk at "work" :P
I can't imagine why women would ever ever ever not be able to appreciate the two most sacred of boys only activities: pron and football... EVEN, the markets fluctuated wildly, when Zidane did his head butt!!!
But life ain't that simple! When we ask for a little space, it is just our chivalrous nature that actually wants to extend you the space that you secretl desire and which we with our deep insight into the female mind can see!!! See, we know you are just to proud to ask for it yourself!!!
No wonder that under pressure from all of this and by misplacing our priorities, poor us neolithics prefer to commit to a playstation or a z-box or whatever.
WHY do women have a compulsion to talk about where a relationship is going on a sunday?? I mean, why on earth (or on S P A C E ! !) would a person want to do that ON A SUNDAY!!!
WHOAAAAAAAAAA...give me a lazy sunday, anytime. Instead, you could put it on an agenda for a monday (when everything else that is usually unnecesary comes up and we can treat it with the usual indifference for which our kind is so celebrated!!!) :D
So, enjoy the space that you get in the garb of us taking it!!!
(Author's note: The Author does not confirm that all his statements are that of all men, neolithis or otherwise. It is also a work of the figment of his imagination, except about sms-es!!)
an illustration of a sunday:
SMS GIRL : where are you? what are you doing? Why havnlt you called?
SMS BOY : Grunt Grunt Grunt (Home, TV, brain fucntions ontemporary hold)
SMS GIRL: Why are you so non -responsive?
2 mins elapse...
SMS GIRL: Baby, why aren't you answering?
SMS BOY: call
SMS GIRL: WHO????
SMS BOY: friend
SMS GIRL: Whoever he or "SHE" is, must have a name??
SMS BOY : *****
If a girl:
SMS GIRL: so she is more important than my sms?? Am I that unimportant??
SMS BOY: No Baby, I didnt realise you messaged coz i was on the call
SMS GIRL: So why did you have to spend SO LONGGG talking to her??
SMS BOY (after remembering damage-control advice from experienced guy friend) : (blah blah) : [Read : lies]
;)
If friend on call was a guy:
SMS GIRL: Oh my God are you going out with him again?? Why cant you meet me and we can talk about us and we can meet at a cafe
SMS BOY: I have some work with him
(work = ;) )
SMS GIRL: Dont lie... all you will do is to drive around and lech at other girls!! Why cant u spend time with me??
SMS Boy: coz we are spending time on the phone all the time
SMS Girl: That wont do. So if you dont wanna see me, why are we in this relationship??
SMS BOY : Coz I love you.
well, we are shallow, so we cant go beyond the basics, including the reasons which are so evident right on the face of it!!
Thats it folks!!!
BLOG OWNER'S NOTE (off the record!):
Thanks for leaving a comment! Appreciate it!
And nice writing, pilot!!! :)
Up Up and AWAY!!!!!!!!!
SMS-ing your girl is a cheaper option ... only to the limited extent that the sms to your girl doesnt stop at one ETC ETC...
OBVIOUSLY NOT - BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT REPLYING!!!
In today's tough world, Working also invloves networking and socialising. OK I admit we prefer to cross the thin line separating networking from gettin wasted and generally playing the fool. So forgive us for getting a bit drunk at "work" :P
FORGIVEN (IT'S A DIVINE ATTRIBUTE WE HAVE! YOU ONLY HAVE TO ASK, THAT'S ALL! :P)
I can't imagine why women would ever ever ever not be able to appreciate the two most sacred of boys only activities: pron (SIC) and football...
HEY! WOMEN DO! (NOT ME BUT ASK M!!!) BUT, HULLO!!, APPRECIATE (at least try!) DANCE AND SHOPPING TOO THEN!!!
When we ask for a little space, it is just our chivalrous nature that actually wants to extend you the space that you secretl desire and which we with our deep insight into the female mind can see!!!
HA!!!!!!
WHY do women have a compulsion to talk about where a relationship is going on a sunday?? I mean, why on earth (or on S P A C E ! !) would a person want to do that ON A SUNDAY!!!
BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO BUSY "WORKING LATE BABY!" (or tying up noodles into bows on your shoes) REST OF THE WEEK!!!
M has lots to say on all of this. But for now she has only one request: please ask me only about the football bit, if you have to.
@ M
ok... only football queries and arguments and fisticuffs will be redirectd to you...
but... hello! what abt STUFF like this...
"When we ask for a little space, it is just our chivalrous nature that actually wants to extend you the space that you secretl desire and which we with our deep insight into the female mind can see!!!"
like... PUH-LEASE!!!
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