From the archives! :)

I just found this - something i wrote almost 7 years ago! :) For The Statesman. :)
kinda juvenile but fun!
JUST SHARING!!!!
.......................

IT'S 8 a.m. Lovely winter morning. Nice chilly breeze. Birds chirping. And the sound of something fluttering — little winged things in my tummy. It's going to be my first debate! At an inter-college fest!! As a judge!!!

My very supportive colleagues had given me very encouraging words of advice. "Don't make the mistake of wearing tight jeans. They may takeyou to be a participant," said one. Thank you so much. If it wasn't for you, I would have turned up in hot pants, you know! "Walk tall. With your height they'll probably miss you." Don't worry,I'll take steroid shots just to look like the "right type" of judge. "God, you look so childish. Please act serious and mature," came another magic mantra. 'ACT' mature? I may be puny but do I look like aclown??? (I DO NOT expect an answer to that.)

Anyway, I decided eventually to put my trust in the collective heads of my colleagues. So back to that fine chilly morning.

There I was, dressed in a sober saree, wearing a pair of four-inchheels, and trying to keep as straight a face as possible for a25-year-old greenhorn on the judging scene. I was so tense I could hear the Mission Impossible tune playing in my head. It took me awhile to realise that it was my cell phone ringing. "Ma'am, we'recalling on behalf of IAM. Sorry, we're a little late ma'am. We'll be picking you up in 15 minutes ma'am," said a voice on the phone. Did he actually say 'ma'am'? Hmm. I was beginning to like it. At the venue, the'ma'am this…' and 'ma'am that…' shots kept giving me the boost I needed for my shaky morale. I was introduced to the moderator for the debate, Indranil Bose, professor of political science at St. Xavier's.

As we discussed the modalities of marking the participants, he mentioned something about the organisers having requested him to judgetoo. I jumped at the idea (I could have begged!). And he — my knight-in-shining armour for the day — agreed to judge the event along with me.

The motion — religion is the opium of the masses — was a cliché, though it couldn't have been more relevant with the BJP sweeping theGujarat polls just the previous day. The speakers were an enthusiastic bunch. The competition was close. I had begun to savour my off-stage, but higher grounds, position. I thought of my college days when I used to think that judges were complete nitwits and was sure I could show them how to do it. Finally when I tallied my sheet with Indranil's I saw that I had done it right. The winners were chosen unanimously. I was almost tempted to ask: "Anything more you want me to judge?" But thankfully before Icould make a grinning jenny ass of myself, I was asked to give away the prizes. Ah! now, that I had done before — when I was 13 and had organised a dance competition for younger kids in the verandah of a shutdown flat. As prizes I had given away cute little perfume vials whacked from my mom's make-up box. I almost got given away to a correctional home for that.

As I drove home that afternoon I was feeling a couple of inches taller even without my heels. But only till I got to office that evening. I just abour stepped in and I heard "Ki re natu, judge-judge khele eli? (Hey shorty! Played the judging game?)"
Colleagues — always happy to bring you down to earth.
.......................

Squirrel and the Rock Star!

(c) bluebandwidth.blogspot.com

HALLELUJAH!

Billoo's back!
very dirty and very befuddled... also very sad... because she's back without her baby...
but i'm glad she's at least made it back...
and i'm sure she and TetrooCannie will be buddiest of buddies!!! :)

But 'THEY' can't take away THC!!! HA!

'THEY' have taken away billoo rani and her baby (called 'gutloo', 'butloo', 'goochie-kapoochie', 'kitty-bitty', 'noochie', 'baby', 'sweetie', ''idiot' and 'ei je' at different times of the day depending on my mood)... :(

The Because? billoo & baby used to do potty in the building premises... which often went unattended to... No one bothered to clean up after them and no one found the time to toilet train them either... :(

So, 'THEY' took them away... to some market place far away... i hope 'THEY' at least chose a fish market... :( (will miss you, darlings... and love you always!)

And meanwhile, TETRAHYDROCANNABINOL is my new kittie... my new cute cuddly-puddly little orange and fuschia chequered cat... oh! and imaginary. :) hell yeah!!!

Though i do miss my rumaal sometimes but i'm so happy with TetrooCannie, i don't mind! :D

TELL ME ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

SPACE: "... also known as the outer space... is the vacuum that all of the planets, stars, and other objects are in..." WIKI.


See, i'm not too much for 'vacuum' - whether it's in the head, stomach or as in the much discussed (-and-respected-in-relationships) 'S P A C E'.


so when you tell me " i need space", i MOSTLY smile... and nod... and mutter "are you serious???" under my breath but say "yes baby... i understand" to your sweet eyes.

bet your last-fix-before-rehab i understand!

So, what you BASICALLY wanna do - and can't tell me straight - is:

a) Drink till you're SO f****** wasted that you can't tell your shoe laces from the noodles from dinner you puked at your feet — and then not have to explain what the hell you were doin' drinking when you said you were "working late, baby"!!!

b) Not go out to watch Sex & the City with my friends and me. (Then don't ask me if i saw that "mind-blowing goal Portugal rammed in against Italy", no?!!! It could've been Godhuli Bagan Tomra Purush Shangthan taking on Kendo Para Aamra Teen-ti Bhai Club — same difference!!! To me!!! UGH!)

c) Not answer your phone when i 'interrupt' a marathon porn-viewing session.

d) Sleep till 4.30 pm on Sunday and wake up and meet your buddies for a smoke rather than drive to my place for a 'talk' on 'where is all this going...'

e) Ignore my begging-for-attention oooey-gooey sms-es like i was one of those pesky cell phone service providers asking you to "sms 63616 to know who your real father is"! (Man! at least sms-ing me is cheaper!!!)

f [for F*** O**!!!]) Want to be in a relationship but play single.

Then, hello there!, i'd like to say - TAKE A HIKE to "the vacuum that all of the planets, stars, and other objects are in" and STAY THERE!!!!!!!!! Enjoy your SPACE!!!!

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. (I swear, baby!!!! I totally understand YOUR need for space!)

FOR THE GRASSHOPPER...

a hash bayena...

so many things now...

like momos and music and colours and hallucvinaing ... abt fingers quaky flaky fingers punching IN keys to spring OUT the right bursts of feelings ... like ..'POING...ng...ng...ng'.

little mad robots super micro - NANO! ha! - robots whirrrrrrring about just below my skulll... no, actually just above... at the roots of my hair... like they were playing a 2,000000000000-a-side soccer match!

ok. ask me a question or think me a thought.. anything... ummm... sunset??? no...

ok i got me e thought but wont tell what...!!!i might trying writing it though... actually THINKING IT ALOUD on the cursor... (perfect!)

***so that colour carnival [see image; (c) bluebandwidth] ... pink mostly if you ask me... :).... nah, just reinforcing stereotypes! :) To get back to it seriously, i really wanna know what happens when it rains... and while i wait to find out i was wondering how the mud there would turn chocolateY... (if it rains that isss) and and then when it dried and caked in the sun... would it then look like chocolatE or would it just go back to looking like mud????

A mood. orange and blue-gray's what im getting now. at the nape of my neck mostly...

(Scribbled: October 28 or 27, was it???!!! SoM: Stoned - and happy!)